Why hello there friends. 🙂 It has been quite some time since I last blogged. You may or may not remember that I dropped off, picked back up, dropped off again, started a new blog (when I attempted a sugar detox a few months ago) and so forth. I have had a lot of ups and downs with weight loss over the past year, and here I sit back at square one.
You may say, “Square one? But you look great! What do you mean??” This is a common reaction I get from friends and family when I tell them that I have put all the weight back on (and then some) that I lost last year. If you remember, I got down to 140.8 in my prime weight loss stage in March 2013. As of last week, I was up to 162.8 and am probably a few pounds heavier after this past weekend. This is the heaviest I have been in a long time. Hell, even in January I was still topping out at 148. What happened you ask? I got a boyfriend, that’s what happened! LOL.
My boyfriend Ryan is simply amazing. He is the most genuine, selfless, caring man that I have ever met or been with. We LOVE to go out to eat, have drinks, and spend time together, but unfortunately, I don’t have a burn everything metabolism so whatever I eat and drink packs on! I have noticed my clothes getting tighter, but I avoided the scale like the plague because I did not want to face reality. Well, if I don’t face reality I am going to be three times the size I am now because I am going to take those “I’m getting bigger” emotions and emotionally binge/self sabotage.
That being said, I went back through and read my blog posts from start to finish from last year because I have been feeling down in the dumps about my self image. Looking back on these posts, I saw that I was dedicated and bound to lose the weight. And I made it happen! The problem is that I made it happen for someone else and not for me. You see, I was dating an emotionally abusive guy at the time. If you refer back to my very first post, he was the one who said “while I have an amazing figure, I should lose the fat”. He also told me once while doing sit-ups that I could do more if I didn’t have “so much fat in the way”. Every week he would make me weigh myself in front of him so he could see that I was in fact losing weight, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to grab my “back fat” and say that it would be gone in no time as long as I kept up with healthy eating and working out.
The reason I bring this up is because I think that part of me, subconsciously of course, is “making up” for this period in my life last year. What I mean is this. Ryan makes me so happy, and he doesn’t care if I get a salad at dinner or a basket of fried food. Not a day goes by where he doesn’t tell me how beautiful I am, how crazy he is about me, etc. His feelings for me are more than skin deep, and I am truly blessed to have a wonderful guy like him by my side. Whatever makes me happy and feel good is what matters to him. The guy I dated last year scrutinized everything I put into my body. We all know I LOVE “bad food” so being with a guy like Ryan makes me feel like I can eat anything without being judged. The problem is that I am doing it in excess – anything I can get my hands on – which is why I have put on nearly 14 pounds since we started dating in January. I am not happy or proud of this, but I am vowing to change it – right here, right now. I am going to lose this weight once and for all but this time it is going to be for ME and no one else. 🙂
On September 17, 2014, I am going to be leaving for Germany. I vow to be 140 pounds again by then. I lost 17.2 pounds in 89 days last year, and I can certainly do that again. I have gone back and forth as to whether or not a blog helps hold me accountable, but I feel that it really does. So, for the next 86 days, I am going to blog and document my journey to not only losing weight (again), but also document my marathon training. As many know, I signed up for my very first marathon – the 2014 Chicago Marathon. I couldn’t be more ecstatic/nervous, and I think this will aid in my weight loss journey. Just as with my last blog, I am going to take measurements/pictures/weight and post them weekly (weight) and monthly (measurements/pictures). My goals are as follows:
- To be 140 pounds by September 17, 2014
- With marathon training, if weight loss does not happen as drastically as I’d like, I would like to AT LEAST be at the same measurements that I was at the end of March last year (when my size 4 and 6 clothes still fit me!!!) They were:
Neck: 12.5 in
Biceps: 11.0 in
Bust: 34 in
Waist: 29 in
Hips: 37.5 in
Thighs: 21 in
- To start swimming again – at least 2 x per week
I am excited to be blogging again, and I will stick with it this time. I will document what I eat today, but everything officially starts on Tuesday, June 24, 2014!!! 🙂
220 calories – Pearson’s Nut Roll
80 calories – Half/Half in Coffee
100 calories – Chobani Vanilla Simply 100 Greek Yogurt
550 calories – Chipotle (romaine lettuce, fajita veggies, chicken, mild salsa, sprinkle of cheese, guacamole and small bag of chips)
80 calories – Half/Half in Coffee
80 calories – Cheese Stick
180 calories – Pistachios
210 calories – Cream Cheese/Whole Wheat Crackers
Total Calories – 1500
Total Allowed – 1200
Over by 300 calories – no workout
86 days to reach my goal…